


Painful Love and Horrible Trauma

by okita_sogo



Category: Horimiya
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol, Angst, BDSM, Denial of Feelings, Depression, Disability, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Fights, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Jealousy, Kinks, M/M, Manipulation, Minor Character Death, Possessive Behavior, Protectiveness, Secrets, Sexual Inexperience, Slow Build, Smut, Torture, Trauma, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:19:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28664583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okita_sogo/pseuds/okita_sogo
Summary: Iura Shu is in Middle school and doesn't have any friends due to people disliking his personality. He then meets a boy named Sawada Aoi and slowly becomes attached to everything about him.
Relationships: Ayasaki Remi/Sengoku Kakeru, Ishikawa Tooru/Iura Shuu, Sengoku Kakeru/Yanagi Akane, Shindou Kouichi/Miyamura Izumi, Tanihara Youji/Miyamura Izumi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Painful Love and Horrible Trauma

**Author's Note:**

> Good luck and yes as I write more chapters I will make sure they are long depending on my time management! And every character in this fic is from the manga! Some of the characters I chose to use as main characters didn't even have names in the manga yet, so I inserted my own names for them! Enjoy reading and feel free to comment your thoughts or feedback you would like to give, I will happily read any comments! Also kudos if you like it please, I appreciate it!

The sound of a loud dinging could be heard throughout the classroom as the school day came to an end. Shu stretched in his seat that was located towards the second back row next to the window. He got up and gathered his half empty notebook and tucked it into his quite empty bag.

His eyes glanced to the side to see some of the girls talking amongst themselves about a guy named Toru Ishikawa, which happened to be the guy he grew up with. Toru had grown up and was holding his popularity at peak. They may just be kids idly walking around in a society that was basically doomed yet stuck to ideals and technology. He didn’t really think much of the world since his everyday life was uselessly sitting in his room and playing video games or doing homework. Sometimes he would go out to simply go shopping alone, to just enjoy the peacefulness of him and his own music that he would play on his headphones.

He breathed in a quiet breath, leaving his classroom quietly as to not cause attention to himself. He took out his headphones and put on some type of piano music, he didn’t really prefer classical music, but he liked to listen to it when he walked alone, to experience a silent and absolute comfort space. As he put on his normal shoes and went to close his shoe locker, he froze when he could hear faint laughter.

The voice was light yet deep in some way he couldn’t pinpoint in his somewhat clear mind. He stood up straight and turned slightly to see a group of girls and boys all talking happily amongst each other, enjoying their own conversations.

He sighed.

He would get somewhat excited at the idea of talking to someone different for once. He always ended up talking to himself to push away the point that he hadn’t made any friends in his first year of starting middle school yet. He did just start middle school, but everyone formed groups and friendships easily, and some people looked at him as if he were an annoyance or weird. He questioned his own self after many days of thinking of how to talk to new people or on how to change himself for others to like him.

Though with all his ideas he never complied to any of them. He didn’t want to create fake friends. He didn’t want to create another one of himself that he himself didn’t like just for others to like or hate on it too. He walked past the school gates quietly and continued to head in the direction to his house. He wasn’t too far from school but it did take longer than some students that may have bought houses closer.

As he walked, he saw Toru, surprisingly, at his own house but with some of his friends, he guessed it was the group of friends he saw in the hallway next to the shoe lockers.

When he put his bag in his room and went into the living room, he saw his little sister lying on the couch leisurely, enjoying the seemingly decent anime she was watching. He went into the small kitchen and took a breath, putting on a face mask and some gloves to clean down the benches and stove carefully but properly. He found that he had no choice but to do this. It wasn’t a chore that he absolutely needed to do, but it was something he rather chose to do for his sake and his mother’s sake, especially for his mother.

He sternly looked at the dishes in the sink and knew he also had to clean those, even if they weren’t dirtied by his hands. He eternally sighed in some sort of annoyance, but it wasn’t particularly “annoyance” though. He would prefer it like this.

After cleaning the kitchen and dishes to the degree he liked it as, he then went up stairs and knocked gently on his mother’s door to her bedroom. A soft “Yes?” was heard and he opened the wooden door slowly and glanced at his pale, lean mother, who sat on her bed looking calmly out the small glass frame.

“Oka-san, what do you feel like eating today?” Shu spoke as if in a whisper to her, as if she were fragile like that of glass. She turned to him and smiled genuinely; her eyes clouded, held back tears of some sort of background pain that was unknown to his eyes. She tilted her head to the side and opened her small mouth that she hadn’t spoken from for hours on end.

“Dango.”

The word left her mouth in a cold hushed voice, her eyes eager in want for the request she had made. Shu swallowed and blinked thoughtfully at the request. He knew his mother’s favourite food was plain dango or any flavour really. She always constantly told him why she enjoyed eating it so much and why it was her favourite, yet he still didn’t find much appeal in it. His favourite food was onigiri, just from the simpleness and easiness that it was in a whole. Onigiri is a rice ball shaped triangle which you can add anything you want with it, though nothing too advanced should be put with it. He normally makes himself onigiri everyday for school and always ends up eating it at a certain riverbank he would sit at after school if he had free time.

“Oka-san pick a dinner meal and later I will make some dango for you,” Shu explained, and the woman merely nodded in apology, but in knowing that she had to think of her children when picking a meal too, fore they would all have to eat what she would choose.

“Then how about hamburger steak,” She chuckled, and he smiled at that knowing that his little sister, Motoko, would also enjoy that. Shu took a step forward but then hesitated in moving closer to the woman who sat alone in her bed, staring back at the glass frame next to the bed. He stopped and bit back the desperate feeling of wanting to hug and cuddle into his beloved mother who sat painfully alone on her queen-sized bed.

“Remember to call me if you need anything,” He reminded her and she nodded in understanding, waving bye to him as he closed the door shut, leaving her alone again in the quiet empty space.

He finished making the food and placed it on the dining table and called Motoko to come eat. He grabbed one of the plates with the hamburger steak and one of the small bowels of salad he prepared and brought it carefully up to his mother’s room. He then gave her a glass of room temperature water, so then it wouldn’t hurt her if she couldn’t handle it. He returned downstairs to eat with his little sister and made a note in his brain to make the dango later or buy some.

As he took a seat on the opposite side of the table to his sister, he then saw her look up at him. He exchanged a glance with her, which was small but kind, in curiosity. She smiled and began to eat.

“Thank you for the food,” they both said in unison.

“Oni-san, can we have omelette rice tomorrow for breakfast?” Motoko said with excitement. He giggled at her enthusiasm and patted her head as a “yes.” She smiled and cheerfully continued eating her food and talked about her day at school. He answered here and there to some questions she asked and listened to her talking about a kid that would be mean to everyone in class.

After eating he made the dango for his mother and then washed the dishes and cleaned up. He went to his room to play video games for the night, after having done his main part of the day. When it hit 8pm his sister came into his room and said good night and took one of his cat plushies for unknown reasons. She had a habit of stealing his cat plushie every night and would return it in the morning, he didn’t question it though, if it meant she would sleep well and be happy.

When it turned midnight for him, he stretched and silently contemplated sleep. He was tired but he felt somewhat restless thinking of having to wake up for school later. Even though he felt restless he went to say good night to his mother and then tucked himself into bed, getting comfortable. He yawned and closed his sleepy amber eyes. He smiled to himself and cuddled into his blankets warmly, enjoying the little breezes coming from his window.

He fell into a deep sleep, opening his eyes into a make belief world created by his mind. It was a dream where he’s standing in a flower field and sitting down and listening to the quiet hums of a lullaby his parents used to hum to him when he couldn’t sleep. He had grown attached to it and when he falls into his dreams, he hears the beautiful tune playing in the background of the same flower field he would lie in.

“Oni-san, wake up!” His eyes blinked blurrily into the light of his sunlit room, seeing a small figure lying on top of him in an attempt to wake him. He groaned as he tried to stir from his sleeping position, but realizing he’ll need to probably lift Motoko up so he could move. He wrapped his arms around her small frame and picked her up along with him getting out of his bed. When he got out of the warmth of his blankets, he put Motoko carefully on the floor outside his door so he could change into his uniform in peace.

He put his uniform on and got his blazer to put on above his white button-up shirt. Before he put his blazer on, he looked at his skinny figure in the mirror opposite him. He glanced down at his stomach and the noticeable bones sticking out, as if he’d been starving himself. He sighed and closed his eyes, trying to shift his attention from his body to something more pleasant.

He then made omelette rice for his sister and laughed when she got some egg on her nose somehow. She always had some type of joy for eating omelette rice, which made him smile.

On his way to school, he saw a black-haired boy who was taller than him with beautiful aqua blue eyes that shone piercingly in the light. The black-haired boy turned his head towards his direction, and they met eyes for a long second, which made Shu’s breath hitch. Those pretty aqua irises mesmerized him, and he felt calm staring into their depths. He shivered as the other looked away and walked ahead to talk to some other guys. He remembered that there was no easy way to gain a friend. He remembered that people judge each other through stereotypes and such. He wanted to curl up in a blanket and die. Why did he have to make eye contact with some random guy on the street? It was just…just weird, creepy to be exact. That guy probably was talking about him to those friends of his…

Talking about how weird I am…Or simply saying how he saw a gross guy staring at him…Anything was possible, in all possibilities he could’ve even just not have mentioned him at all, at least he would hope for that outcome.

He went to his shoe locker and changed into his indoor shoes and stopped when someone stood next to him and looked at him. He raised his head slowly and hesitantly as he met eyes with the unknown person next to him.

He froze.

His breathing had stopped completely, and his eyes were wide in horror yet somewhat happy. The person whose shoe locker was next to his was the black-haired guy he made creepy eye contact with. He glanced down at his feet and wanted to hide away in a dark corner. He didn’t want to face this guy and yet he didn’t even know the guy went to his school as well. Maybe it was because he was later than he usually would arrive at his locker by. He eternally sighed and thought of how great it would have been to not have looked back at the boy when he saw him.

He quickly closed his locker and kept his headphones on in order to stay engulfed in his music to distract himself from the nervous flutter of his heart.

When he reached his class he calmly sat down and took his phone out, messaging his mother to remember to eat the breakfast he left next to her bed. He glanced up from his phone when he saw Toru enter the classroom and laugh loudly along with a girl a little shorter than he was. He looked back at his device for a reply but there was none, which made him uneasy. She’s probably went back to sleep… He told himself in silent comfort.

He coughed as he felt his airway block up. He waited with anticipation for the teacher to arrive for class and get the day over with quickly. The teacher strode into the classroom with pride, ready to start the class, and he opened his notebook, ready to finally get this over with.

When it hit lunch time, he simply pulled his bento out of his bag and went up to the roof of the building to go eat in peace. When he sat down and began eating eagerly someone else happened to follow him up onto the roof. He looked up from the floor and choked on his egg roll that was in his mouth in mild shock.

Aqua eyes looked at him in amusement and brightened when they connected eyes. The black-haired boy merely hummed to himself as if making a decision or contemplating something and then he left Shu alone in his own space on the roof and went off back into the building.

He stared in confusion and didn’t continue eating. “Weird!” Shu blurted to himself and looked around himself cautiously, as to make sure he didn’t disturb someone.

After school ended, he went to his shoe locker in hesitation. He felt the need to run a different way when he spotted the guy there practically surrounding his locker with a giant group of people and laughing excitedly about some sort of restaurant or something. He felt awkward standing there and merely staring at the people who blocked his locker mercilessly. When he realized it was getting later, he summoned some confidence and kindness in order to make it to the shops on time to buy food for dinner and his mother’s needs.

“U-uh, can you please move,” He asked confidently, hoping the person that looked at him weirdly would comply with his request. The person gave him an annoyed gaze, which made him equally hesitant now. He felt some sort of sickness in his stomach when the person grabbed his arm forcefully and stared at him with pure anger.

“I move when I want to,” the person spat, and he shakily tried removing his arm from the person’s grasp before he nearly vomited right there. As he struggled, he then felt a hand on his back, and he closed his eyes in fear of being hurt and fear of the unknown touch against his back. He felt his eyes begin to get watery as he felt fear take over his senses.

“Shh, calm down,” A deeper voice spoke out from the person touching his shoulder. He didn’t dare open his eyes though. He felt trapped and isolated between the two unknown bodies keeping him in place. The voice did calm him a bit, but it definitely made him feel like a distressed animal.

“Move, let him go to his locker. He has more important things to do then sit around like you,” The voice continued to the person who had now freed his grasp on his arm. The boy moved out of the way laughing in apology to the taller behind him, which confused him immensely.

He opened his eyes carefully and looked up at the person who had helped him successfully. He didn’t know whether to be surprised anymore at who he saw and noticed that helped him, though he was thankful and happy.

The black-haired boy chuckled at his shyness and patted his head softly. He smiled up at him.

“Thank you, I am grateful!” Shu smiled widely at him and the aqua-eyed boy simply laughed more in acceptance of the gratefulness.

“You were the one staring at me, hmm,” the boy answered, and Shu blushed in embarrassment to the statement and glared at him. He then wacked him with his book and laughed loudly as the taller faked hurt.

“Yes, but you were also staring!” Shu laughed and the other did as well agree with the statement.

“What’s your name?” He asked the aqua-eyed teen curiously and enthusiastically. The other looked at him in shock as if he didn’t think Shu would be so cheery and loud.

“My name is Sawada Aoi. What is your name?” Sawada said and Shu grinned in fulfilment in hearing the question.

“My name is Iura Shu! Nice to meet you properly!” Shu exclaimed, making Aoi continue to look at him in amusement. Shu smiled brightly at him and remembered that he had to quickly make it to the shops in order to make dinner for his family on time.

Anxiety curled up inside him as he looked back at his locker and began putting his shoes on in a rushed motion. He needed to make it! He HAD TO! Panic rose higher and he began moving quicker and Aoi merely looked at him in pure confusion as the other frantically locked his locker and started walking faster out the school.

“Wait Iura!” Aoi called and ran after him in panic as well. He caught up to the green-haired boy and ran alongside him in an attempt to follow him to wherever he was headed. When they arrived at the local shops Aoi sighed realizing he would now have to accompany the other in the store. 

“Oh? Why did you follow me?” Shu asked worriedly and Aoi shrugged with a defeated smile plastered on his decent face. Shu was scared though. He didn’t know if Sawada tagging along was good for him. He didn’t want to bore the living hell out of the other especially if it meant their first time spending alone time together. Even though he was worrying a lot in his own complicated mind, Aoi on the other hand looked pumped up with newfound energy, ready to explore the big store. 

Shu smiled back sluggishly at the other and walked forward even with his mind occupied on worry. He decided to push half of it away and replace it with joy as well as excitement in having company now. 

“Let’s go to the drink aisle first,” He demanded and Aoi nodded and grabbed a trolly and pushed it cheerfully towards the said aisle. Shu laughed to himself in pure amusement in the other’s enthusiastic movements and quietly admired the other from afar. He wished he could’ve met this boy earlier because maybe, just maybe, they could’ve made a great friendship alone, without the glaring looks and judging friends that the other had already obtained beforehand. 

He breathed slowly in silent resignation as he spotted the black-haired boy in the drink’s aisle grabbing a large amount of bottled water. Shu instantly walked towards him and slapped him lightly on the head to make sure he calmed down on stealing half the water bottles left on the shelf. Sawada chuckled and put some away and grabbed some iced tea bottles and he slipped in a packet of poky which Shu found cute. 

“Hey Iura, want to go look at a meat stand? We can find some good prices today apparently,” Sawada informed. Shu nodded and walked in line next to him, as they went past the multiple stands and stores lined up. The air was stuffy, and it felt very warm inside the enclosed space, but nonetheless, they went up to each different store and stood to see what he could possibly get for his beloved family that were waiting for his presence. 

He looked around carefully in hopes to get a good idea on what meal to make that both his sister and mother would enjoy equally. As he was searching and looking at the different foods and ingredients, he realized that he could simply ask Sawada what he thought would be good, even if the boy didn’t know his family at all.

“Sawada, what do you think would be a good meal for a family dinner?” Shu asked and Sawada looked at him in almost shock that Shu had gone to him for that question but considering only he and Shu were in the shop together he knew that he was a last option upon many.

“Hm, what about curry! And then you can make a side of rice or vegetables or even both as sides!” Sawada suggested thoughtfully and Shu smiled and nodded in thought as well. His mother did like curry and his sister enjoyed it too much for a normal person, so this would be a good choice to choose, plus he somewhat found curry warming and delicate to his tongue. He nodded to himself in agreement to the statements and put a thumbs up to Sawada to show he helped well.

Sawada chuckled and smirked in pride of his thinking and he was always glad to help in any way possible when someone needed it. With this Sawada took Shu’s hand into his own and dragged him hurriedly towards the store that had great curry ingredients from memory of the last time he had gone shopping with his mother. Shu didn’t jerk his hand away from the sudden forcefulness that pulled at him in order to follow Sawada and not somehow get lost in the big crowds due to the sales going on today.

He felt Sawada tighten his grip on his hand in a way that meant he was making sure he was alright and not getting swept up somewhere behind him. Shu looked at their joined hands and squeezed his hand too as a sign that he was alright and for Sawada to continue leading the way. Sawada smirked back at him and patted his head softly, his other hand that was on the trolly for a long second, and then went back to pushing the half empty trolly with the said hand. Shu grinned to himself at the comforting touch, as his face held a small blush tinted on his cheeks, hinting his enjoyment once again.

When they reached the small store that Sawada had dragged him along to, in order to buy the ingredients that would be good for curry, Sawada and both Shu stared at the ingredients in defeat not remembering which seasonings or vegetables or sauce to make. He noticed that Sawada hadn’t let go of his hand yet either which made him feel safe in the hold of the other’s warm hand clutched tightly, but not tight enough to hurt, with his hand.

“Hey Iura, how about this one, and these vegetables and then if you want we can buy some rice, since the rice is fresh here,” Sawada offered and Shu agreed with his statement and went on walking side by side with him still carefully keeping hold of the others hand as they grabbed what they thought would be good, which was the contents of a plain vegetable packet that contained fresh broccoli and carrots and nothing else, and then some plain white rice and some ingredients to make a sauce for the said meal.

Sawada had contemplated for about 15 minutes on what Vegetable packet to get and they agreed on the plain carrots and broccoli one because it was simple and fresh and being sold for a good price.

“Make sure you always get this one Iura-kun, since it took so long for us to pick one out of all of them,” Sawada said in a defeated voice after they had left the store and put all the products into bags and left the trolly in its dedicated spot.

“Sure, in memory of our hard work and thinking!” Shu exclaimed and Sawada choked on his spit hearing the words. He groaned at the mere memory of standing in the small store for minutes on end, thinking of the best vegetable packet to buy for Shu’s family.

Sawada helped carry most of the bags and when they arrived at Shu’s house, Shu hesitated for a second before deciding it would be easier to allow the other inside with the bags. They took their shoes off and walked happily into the kitchen after passing the lounge where his sister had not been seated for an unknown reason he wasn’t bothered to think of.

“Just put the bags over there, Sawada,” Shu pointed to the table that had a neat set of flowers that were slowly dying in the center of it. Sawada complied and placed the bags down but immediately began putting things away and Shu simply told him where to put the correct things and what to keep out.

“Okay, lets cook!” Sawada breathed a sigh, rolling up his sleeves of his uniform shirt and beginning to pull out some bowels and such that were needed in the preparation. Shu glanced at him in surprise, he didn’t think he would help him cook as well, but he accepted it with a big grin and started slowly cooking along with the other.

“Oni-san, what is for dinner today!” His sister called as she ran down the stairs, only just having realized that he got home. She ran into the kitchen and stopped cheerfully to look at what he was preparing but she froze in shock when she saw another male who was way taller and built than her brother, cutting up some carrots.

“WHO IS THIS IMPOSTER!?” Motoko yelled and jumped up in joy when the other simply looked at her with a sweet yet smug smile.

“That is an…ah, acquaintance of mine from school,” he replied with a stutter, not knowing what to call Sawada as to him. A friend would be maybe too much since they only just met and he didn’t want to assume such things when they had only just met, yet he felt uneasy at his own statement as if it was wrong to call the boy a mere “acquaintance.” He swallowed and looked back at the black-haired boy who seemingly looked somewhat fine with the words he chose to introduce him as. He shifted his gaze to the floor and felt the need to correct the statement but didn’t in order not to create a misunderstanding, plus he didn’t want to get on Sawada’s bad side, not when he only just made a somewhat friend out of him…if that’s what you could call it.

“COOL! Nice to meet you!” Motoko said with enthusiasm and Sawada chuckled returning the greeting. Motoko then ran back to the lounge and turned on the tv to watch something in an attempt to entertain herself until the food was ready.

He turned back into the kitchen and began cutting at the broccoli to trim off any parts that looked dirty to his eyes. Whilst he did that, Sawada kept a quiet gaze on him, cherishing the focused look Shu had when cooking. He found it cute and adorable as the green-haired boy cut carefully at the broccoli to make sure it would be safe to eat.

“You’re so cute when you cook,” Sawada praised, and Shu glanced at him almost in confusion and then said confusion turned to Shu being flustered and blushing deeply at the comment. Sawada hummed with amusement and wrapped his arms around Shu’s waist, holding in a warm embrace that made the other relax in his hold. Shu blinked up at him in shyness, and Sawada poked his nose with his finger in a teasing gesture. Shu blushed more at the sudden gesture and buried his face in the others chest as if to hide his growing red face.

“So adorable,” Sawada hummed and continued to keep his arms securely around him, as Shu grew more embarrassed at the words.

This was different to Shu, something he had never experienced from a friend ever. It felt comforting and safe being held securely in Sawada’s embrace. His face was warm in nervousness and embarrassment, but it didn’t make the experience of the hug any worse or different, rather it made him feel butterflies in his chest.

Sawada looked down at him and he exchanged the glance which made Sawada giggle fondly of the look Shu gave which was calm as if ready to fall asleep, but happy with excitement which were two whole different feelings but not too different.

“We have to put the food in bowels and plates now Iura, so I will have to let go of you,” Sawada teased and reminded him. Shu pouted and turned back around to start setting the food on the table. Sawada wheezed when Shu nearly served a bowl of just plain broccoli to the table, which Shu noticed after hearing Sawada’s loud wheezing behind him.

“It was an accident!” Shu exclaimed in defence, which made Sawada wipe tears of laughter from his eyes. Shu pouted and called his sister to come eat and remembered to quickly bring food up to his mother who was bedridden.

After leaving some food on his mother’s bedside table he then returned downstairs and said his thank you, for the food. Sawada joined in eating with him and his sister and Sawada ate excitedly at the meal. She complimented the taste and how they make a good team cooking together. Sawada thanked her and told her about how they took so long picking out ingredients. Motoko laughed along with him and Shu did as well, this was truly new and something he could get used to…something he would grow attached to possibly. He swallowed and took a breath as Motoko discussed about her and her friends having a club where they look at games and such, like a game research club or something, but mostly to do with anime.

After eating and him and Sawada cleaning the dishes together in a mixture of laughter and play fighting, they ended up cleaning the full kitchen and heading to his room. He was rather nervous to allow someone new into his comfort space, but he knew Sawada wouldn’t do anything he disliked, hopefully.

Sawada sat on his bed and brought his phone out to type a message to his parents as a note that he doesn’t know what time he’ll return home as of the night. He tucked his phone back into his school bag and shared a soft but quiet gaze with Shu. It was comfortable and gentle, almost as if both their eyes had formed a silent bond amid their longing stares.

“Want to do something?” Shu asked, breaking the comfortable silence. Sawada hummed once again and thought of something that may be of entertainment.

“Do you have any games?” He questioned and Shu face palmed. Sawada tilted his head and laughed unknowing of the meaning of the gesture. Then he realized after taking in the shelf filled with a bunch of anime games and fighting games and especially a lot of fantasy rps which he looked at in interest.

“You seriously didn’t see the whole shelf?!” Shu rolled his eyes in amusement. Sawada chuckled back and slapped him lightly on the arm, which Shu took it upon himself to fake hurt in. Sawada smirked and reached his hand out to once again pat his head in joyful pity. Shu pouted more and it only caused Sawada to poke his cheek to make the other end in a blush again.

After incoherent screams were being passed in the room as they played a fantasy game that consisted of creating magic and developing a guild to join, in which they both teamed up together for, it then had ended with Sawada killing Shu in one of the dungeons which made Shu groan in annoyance at Sawada saying he’ll get revenge. When dying in the game it meant your character would lose all their magic ability and levels and basically just everything. So, Shu inwardly sighed knowing he’ll have to try hard the game for a couple of extra days to get higher than Sawada to kill him for revenge.

Motoko then rushed into the room to find her brother sitting on his bed screaming at Sawada to stop trying to kill him as Sawada sat on the floor against the side of the bed frame and continued to try to kill the green-haired boy’s character.

“You guys! It is nearly midnight!” Motoko screeched and told them. Shu looked at her in shock and Sawada did too. Motoko sighed at their obliviousness and Sawada got his phone out to confirm her words. He blinks worriedly and typed out a message to his father about maybe not returning home for the night, or just returning extremely late.

“Say Iura…Can I sleep over if that’s alright with you and your family?” Sawada asked cautiously and Shu nodded in understanding, getting up to inform his mother of Sawada’s situation.

He knocked on the door lightly and his mother didn’t answer so he just allowed himself inside before she muttered her reply. She looked at him sleepily from her bed and he looked behind him to gesture Sawada inside as well. He had forgotten to introduce Sawada to his mother and had gotten caught up in the new feeling of having someone to spend time with.

“Oh? Who is that Shu?” His mother smiled softly aiming her question on the boy behind her son. He smiled back at her and signalled for Sawada to come next to him. Sawada complied and did as told; he was worried since he knew the mother didn’t leave her bed at all during the time of his arrival.

“Oka-san, this is my school acquaintance that helped me cook dinner for you and Motoko today,” Shu answered and the woman gazed silently at the black-haired boy who bowed his head in a small tilt as to show his gratefulness to meet her. She returned the small bow and smiled gently reaching her hand out to admire the looks of Sawada.

“My name is Sawada Aoi, Oka-san,” Sawada introduced himself in a quiet firm voice that left a reassuring calmness inside of it. “Nice to meet you.”

Shu’s mother giggled at the politeness and reached her hand to touch Sawada’s in a way of saying “thank you very much” silently as if her voice would break speaking a word aloud.

Sawada held her hand with both of his in a polite manner to show that he was grateful for her acceptance. They smiled together and Shu forgot for a second why he had brought the boy into his mother’s room in urgency.

“Oka-san, I brought Sawada in here so then I could ask you something. Since it is midnight and it would be dangerous to go out back home at this time, could he stay the night in my room, so then his parents don’t worry?” Shu asked and his mother exchanged a glance with him and then nodded her agreement to the situation at hand.

“Thank you very much, Oka-san,” Sawada said, which Shu picked up on that he was calling his mother as his own or something like that. He inwardly felt relieved at the action though he would never admit it aloud to Sawada’s face at least.

Shu got up and waved bye to his mother and so did Sawada in casual politeness for letting him stay in her residence. They went back into Shu’s room and Shu brought the futon out and lay it down on the floor next to his bed in a neat format so then the black-haired male would feel comfortable.

Somewhere deep in his mind he’d hope the other would embrace him like what Sawada did in the kitchen, but he kept that to himself in hushed silence so no one would judge his thoughts. He got warm in his own blanket covers and looked at the floor to where Sawada was shifting to find a spot that was comfortable to fall asleep in.

“Good night, Sawada,” Shu whispered, and Sawada turned his eyes to him and smiled that breathless, addicting smirk that said he was thankful, and he closed his eyes in silent appreciation.

In the morning he stretched and woke up to see another body on his bed as well as his own. He blinked his eyes wider into the dimly lit room and could make out the tall figure of Sawada sitting on the side of his bed and looking down at him with a fond gaze, as if he had watched him sleep the whole time.

“Good morning Iura, you look so peaceful when sleeping,” Sawada commented and chuckled when Iura cuddled his arm and groaned. Sawada patted his head in a calm like way that made Iura want to go back to his peaceful slumber. He remembered that it was a school day though and moved into a sitting position still holding onto Sawada’s arm firmly.

“Iura, my arm needs to be freed so then I can also get changed into my uniform,” Sawada reminded him, and Shu groaned louder this time, which Sawada laughed at and gave him a rough yet soothing last pat to his head.

“I am getting changed in your bathroom,” Sawada called, and Shu understood and couldn’t be bothered speaking words at the moment of being awoken so happily. He got up and changed quickly so then Sawada wouldn’t accidentally see his half naked form, and then went down to the kitchen to make breakfast but stopped when he saw Sawada rushing down to assist him once again. Shu giggled at Sawada’s persistence and nodded in allowance for the other to help, because it wouldn’t be fun without the extra hand, especially if it was Sawada.

Cooking omelette rice was something he was used to so much now because of his sister’s obsession for the meal, and Sawada also looked excited to eat omelette rice which made him purely content to put his best efforts in making it so Sawada and his sister could equally enjoy it.

After eating breakfast, they left the house first and made their way down the street in order to reach school at a decent time. As they walked Sawada laughed as he saw a cat sitting on a house fence sleeping on its back as if it were dying but it looked somewhat comfortable. They crossed the train tracks and a bridge and soon enough made it in clear view of the school as they got closer.

Sawada shared a content smile with him, enjoying the quietness as he let his headphones dangle loosely around his neck, since he felt the need to listen to Sawada if he wanted to talk small. Sawada took note of it too and made sure he spoke a little knowing that the other preferred his music more than his unnecessary banter.

When they entered the school Shu could hear some people calling Sawada’s name in excitement to see his presence. Shu envied him. He smiled to himself as Sawada waved back to them but stayed walking by his side, which confused him immensely, but he didn’t want to question it, enjoying the silence that was between them.

He changed his shoes and waved bye to Sawada, knowing that they weren’t friends in any way, they just happened to be mere acquaintances that had made eye contact one day. He breathed a sigh as he glanced behind him to see the other walking with his friends to his class and he swallowed back a breath he felt growing in need of relief.

I wish…I had met him sooner…because maybe…just maybe, we could’ve had an unbreakable bond already formed that no one could break…

When the bell rang for lunch, he grabbed his bento and reminded himself that today Sawada would eat his home-made bento that he had prepared for him. He blushed happily yet sadly that he couldn’t see the reaction Sawada would make when eating his food, he took another breath, holding back some kind of want or need that stabbed at him a little, but he ignored it not wanting to explore the feelings that may be hidden in the back of his chest or mind.

He sat at the roof hoping that the black-haired boy would have followed him once again but as the bell neared, he knew that he was in a hopeless world where only great people could change the universe in their palms and get what they want in no need of help from selfish want or desperate pain. He wanted to curl up and cry…he wanted to feel Sawada’s teasing and happy gaze on him but at the same time he wanted to never look at the boy again and ignore his existence that stood out to his bright yellow eyes. He wanted to feel the sensation of a person simply there just being next to him in a means to make him feel safe…yet he knew very well life worked against people that were desperate and he knew it was all his shameful thoughts running alone thoughtlessly to a goal that couldn’t be obtained from his position…from his want and cries, and desperate need of warmth…

He felt a tear leave his eye, and he covered his mouth with his hands and held his eyes shut in an attempt to keep himself in control of his needy feelings. He didn’t want to cry and look vulnerable to people. He was a boy; he was meant to be strong and take care of the last of his family he had left…he wasn’t allowed to cry…that would mean submitting and accepting that he wasn’t good enough as a older brother and as a son to those that still held their hopes for him and lived off him unlike no other person would ever.

He held in the need. He held back the want. And he desperately screamed for help inside his darkened mind that couldn’t be heard above the voices of other students or the solid walls that held the sounds that were made outside to a minimum to the inside. Before he could calm himself completely a figure came from the door and he froze, as if holding back a breath he didn’t want to breathe anymore. But his breath felt burned as he noticed a familiar aqua-eyed boy look at him and worry slowly grow into the features of his face, he looked at him as if wanting an answer.

“I- ra-! ….RA! IURA!” Shu’s brain seemed to stop, and tears were stopped as he felt a relieved smile take over his distressed sadness. He heard his name being called but couldn’t find the words to answer those worried calls of desperateness. As he felt hands cup his cheeks and beautiful aqua irises connect with his amber eyes, he felt as if he were being sucked into a world of silent water, of an ocean where you could only hear the gentle laps of waves press against each other. It felt cold but as arms wrapped around his small fragile figure, he could feel the warmth of a familiar body being pressed onto his own. His smile grew as tears filled his eyes making him curl up into the chest of the body holding him safely in their embrace.

His breath came out ragged and deep as if searching for air as if he were drowning looking for the surface where his name could be heard over the sound of cold water. Soon he was shaking, and his eyes widened in realization of his surroundings and he took a moment to catch his breath again.

“SHU!” He blinked up through his watery eyes and smiled as he looked into the depths of those pretty aqua eyes, making himself feel comfortable as he slowly sunk into the arms that held him securely in one spot. He reached his hands and wrapped them around Sawada’s neck, clinging to him desperately, hoping not to let go ever again so then he wouldn’t sink again in his drowning emotions. Sawada tightened his arms around him, and they stayed like that for the rest of the school day, skipping last period so then Shu could find himself again and calm down from whatever just swallowed him whole.

They sat there and never moved. Sawada kept his arms firmly around Shu in a means to protect him from his unwanted feelings and thoughts. Shu smiled painfully and continued crying into the others shoulder as he held on severely, scared that if he let go, he’d drown or lose air.

After the last bell sounded Shu had calmed down a bit but not fully, so Sawada held his hand as they went to each other’s respective classes and grabbed their bags and headed home after quickly changing shoes. They kept their hands entwined together keeping themselves reassured that the other one was still there beside them.

Shu led Sawada to a riverbank that had beautiful trees and remains of cherry blossoms still left scattered from the last cherry blossoms that had grown there. They sat down on one of the grass parts and Shu took out his bento box, taking an onigiri out, and broke it in half. He offered the other half to Sawada who looked at him with a fond yet sad gaze, that made him wonder if the other was going through some complicated emotions as well as him in that moment. Sawada used his free hand to grab the onigiri and eat it carefully as Shu did the same. They sat on the small slope, eating with one hand and one of their hands both entwined in the middle between them, making sure they felt the others presence against them.

When they finished eating, Sawada looked at Shu and used both his hands to hold both of Shu’s hands. Shu looked at him in his eyes, and Sawada chuckled a relieved laugh, as if making himself feel at ease before speaking.

“Shu…I am glad we met,” Sawada whispered gently, looking into Shu's eyes as he held onto both his hands in a soft hold.

“Me too…” Shu whispered back.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading the first chapter! This chapter was meant to be longer but because my friends that were supposed to edit for me ditched me on most of the important days I needed them on, I had to kind of rush but I made sure the chapter itself added more small details that people should take a note on for future chapters! And the ending for this chapter ended like that only because I got emotional and my hands felt like they were moving on their own!!!!! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and I hope you leave some comments on how you feel about the chapter so then I can see other people's ideas on what they think!!


End file.
